Tuesday, February 06, 2018

Mean and Green - Jealous Again

Remember 'green with envy'?...one of those old catch phrases that implicates a beautiful color as something other than naturally wonderful.  Green should remind us of springtime pastures, tree frogs and crisp sugar snap peas.  Green should not connect us to a bitter angry feeling about someone because they have something we don't or because they are someone we are not.  Green is about growing, thriving, new sprouts. πŸ’š

I was talking with a friend about jealous behavior this week.  It's laughable at times when people display that green tint of jealousy.  But, at other times, it's infuriating.  Jealous envy is destructive in every way.   It's downright mean.  There's nothing good about feeling negative toward someone because they have done something you haven't or can do something you can't.

A long time ago I learned a valuable lesson about this....and it was presented to me because I worked in a building where offices were made of modular walls-the kind of walls that didn't reach to the ceiling therefore affording little to no privacy.  One of my coworkers was possibly less than diligent about staying busy.  Another coworker was extremely diligent about monitoring the other's lack of productivity.  It was not a fun situation for me to say the least.  It began to grate on my nerves until finally, this conversation happened:

Coworker (whispering) - Doesn't it just drive you crazy that Joe Bob talks on the phone all the time instead of working?  He does this every day and nobody seems to care.
Me - I don't think I'm responsible for what Joe Bob is doing.
Coworker - Well, we have to pick up the slack.
Me (not whispering) - I'm pretty busy minding my own business over here.  But apparently, you aren't getting that much work done either if you have so much free time to watch him all day long.
Coworker - Well.... (huffy face, back turned, walked away)

Now, what I hadn't said at the time was that yes indeed, I had noticed what was going on but I didn't find it worthwhile in any way to compare myself to my coworkers.  And, I realized then how everyone has their own definition of what hard work means and mine was the only one I had to live up to....what a valuable lesson that still guides me to this day.

I feel the same way about success.  It's highly personal.  If it's not, it won't feel good.  Maybe there's a possibility that envy, jealousy and bitterness will come into play.  Then, who's really successful and who's really not minding their own dang business?

There will always be lesser and greater situations.  Always.  But, what a waste of energy to compare.   It makes sense to me to applaud those who excel in certain ways and encourage those who struggle in others.  We all get a turn to be kind and helpful or to be jealous and bitter.  That's within our control every single day.  The rest may be up to fate...I don't know.  But I don't want unhappiness in my heart because someone has something or someone that I can't say I have conquered.   Only I can define my success and I choose to be happy for people who have what they have.  (That doesn't lessen my chances of a good life.)   I choose to be hopeful for the people who need hope.  I try to avoid green envy with the ugly greedy head and nasty attitude.

And the moral to this little story is that Joe Bob seems blissfully successful these days and Coworker Complainer is probably jealous again somewhere whispering but has fallen completely off my radar.   I don't have time for that in my life....

I'm no role model or standard measurement for anything short of a graying old lady with a smart mouth and a sassy frame of mind.  I admit I have fallen into the jealousy trap a few times; I know what it feels like to crawl back up to level ground.  So, truthfully, if you're defining my worth by the car I drive or the size of my bank account, you might be better than me.  But, if you compare my worth by the love in my heart for my people, be careful there.  It might be hard to match me in that category.

To each, his own.  And, that's why being jealous is such a waste of good green!🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸



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